Crysis: The 2,395 Year-Old Review and the Plea for a Shooter With a Good Story

These days I've looked desperately for a PC game to tide me over until the release of StarCraft 2 and Diablo 3. I logged into Steam last weekend and browsed the store, and noticed an old title, "Crysis," on sale for a good $30.00 (Amazon shows it on sale for $24.00 not including shipping!) I played the demonstration shortly after it was released and I said to myself, "Woah." But even after being impressed with the demo, what really prevented me from buying it was the cliches that I see in every first-person shooter: marines going on some assault, cocky soldiers thinking they can do their jobs only to get overwhelmed and their asses handed to them, aliens that resemble the face of Michael Jackson, the apocalypse hinging on the skill of you, the player, and lastly, no options to incinerate my fellow blogger, Tashpool.

But when the price went down a good $20, I decided to take the plunge and find out what the hell everyone was talking about for the past year. It turns out that this game really kicks as much ass as everyone has been saying, despite the over-the-top, ludicrous story.



What everyone has been talking about for the past year is the open battlefield of the game - something that has been attempted in PC games like S.T.A.L.K.E.R. and Fallout 3 (Fallout 3 is kind-of-sort-of a shooter). The interesting thing here is that you are given a simple objective, but countless ways to achieve that objective. Unlike other shooters, which guide you down a linear path, Crysis throws you into a sink-or-swim environment and lets you do whatever you want to achieve your mission, whether by charging the gate, going in with your cloaked suit, zooming by a checkpoint in a pick-up truck, or simply avoiding the area altogether via a circuitous route. But for every choice you make, there is a consequence: take the circuitous route and you might run into a convoy patrol. Go into a hot area with stealth and you run the danger of having your invisibility cloak go off at the wrong time, allowing troops to circle and dispatch you quickly. Go in with guns blazing and you'll likely get a wave of reinforcements to defend against you.

Here is a video documents some of my exploits against the North Koreans. There is a healthy amount of killing, blood, and everything you can't do in real-life:



So why isn't this game the number one game of the millennium in Antoninus' book of all-time kick ass? This is simple, really -- it's still a game with aliens, marines, cocky soldiers that end up getting killed. And the ending of this game -- I will simply say it was a bit over-the-top, complete with eye-rolling voice-over lines and a preposterous final opponent that seems out of character for the game.

Which made me come to realize: just about every first-person shooter I have ever played is guilty of doing the Crysis -- that is, allowing the player to participate in a cinematic action sequence, at the cost of the story being as dramatic as a 1980's New Kids on the Block music video. Halo? Check. Half-Life? Quasi-check. Doom 3? Check. Resistance? Check.

Will gaming developers ever have it in their hearts to stop torturing me and hire decent, real, screenwriters to replace the cheesy lines, cliches, and stories involving marines? Only time will tell. I suppose, in the mean time, we will continue to kill hordes upon hordes of aliens, communists, terrorists and other evil beings to save the world from being overrun by Martians.