So Sony is planning to make a movie based on Shadow of the Colossus. It's being produced by Kevin Misher of The Scorpion King fame. Being a spin off from The Mummy, that movie was a huge disappointment. Whose the writer? Justin Marks. The same person who wrote Street Figher: The Legend of Chun-Li. Why yes, that is a metacritic score of 17 out of 100.
Shadow of the Colossus is one of my all time favorite games, and one that showed me countless time that I have no idea how to spell Colossus without google.
If you're unfamiliar with the game, it has a well drawn out formula that creates a unique sense of awe throughout its iteration. You play Wander, a young man who takes a lifeless milky white skinned girl named Mono to an alter where you hunt down and murder 16 Innocent colossi as sacrifices to demigod Dormin who promises to resurrect your love in a wonderful zombie revival. Yes, it IS that good.
What sets the game apart from other sacrificial zombie like stories is that each colossi is a unique puzzle, only to be defeated once the player finds their special weakness. This ruins any replay value, but the depth of each boss fight and discovery of these weaknesses is a triumph in itself. The game also has a loose tie in with ICO, another game that deserves to be played and praised for wonderful story development and personal attachment.
The Killer chooses his next colossi victim.
As wondrous as SotC is, transformation into a movie has all the marks for a horrible never ending dvd of disgrace. The game has very little dialog which puts emphasis on the solidity of the main character as he battles colossi in a unique way to save Mono for some unknown reason. Where will the dialog come from? How will you translate the epic colossi visuals when you feel disconnected from Wander? No horse will ever be able to live up to Agro! (If I ever do own a horse, you can bet I will name him Agro and train him/her to come when I whistle and gallop in the direction of light shining off my huge forehead.)
Transforming video games into the big screen has brought new lows into the world, I'm staring at you Uwe Boll. The medium to tell the story is vastly different and the main audience you're presenting to will either have no clue where to grasp the foundations from or they'll be overly disappointed at the lack of game connections.
In closing, I hope this movie never gets made. The story of Wander, Agro, and Mono was one of the few gaming experiences I'll never forget and always enjoy. I don't think a team of movie makers will every exists who could do it proper justice. And if it does get made, I'll have to be a lemming and show up opening night just because of the name. You won't be able to miss me, I'll be in the back row crying into my popcorn from the disappointment.
Damn you Hollywood, damn you. Now pass the extra salty popcorn.
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